elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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