I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
