i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So much rum. So many feels.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
