FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
