a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
wakey wakey hands off snakey
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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