things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
high people should be assigned attendants
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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