Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
