Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
