Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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