Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
