Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
