that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
