I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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