Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My pussy is not your playground.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
