Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we made out on top of his cat.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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