tell your sister to shave her snatch
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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