Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
