I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
