Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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