i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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