Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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