Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
