you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
