I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
