I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
