just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
