Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
