Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
