I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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