She said her name was "party"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
