My sheets look like a crime scene.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
