Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
