in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
