I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
