he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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