Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
