i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
