So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
