Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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