D3 body, D1 cock
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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