He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
