She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
