We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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