Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
