But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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