So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I look better un-naked...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
