Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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