i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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