Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
