masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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