do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
